A Softer Way to Ring the Wedding Bells
By Mary Lou Aurell
The culture and the cost of marriages are changing.
Wedding bells sound softly now. Couples have less to jingle in their pockets and those marrying may do so without the expensive clothes, heaps of flowers and fancy receptions.
Economic times are guiding those special days. That best dress or simple suit is replacing traditional wedding attire. At the more casual summer weddings couples may wear shorts, t-shirts and be barefooted and, at a Gunn Park ceremony, don a clean do-rag.
The Rev. Gretchen Pickeral watched a bride in a cheap wedding dress inviting everyone to sign her dress as she moved barefoot through the onlookers.
Church nuptials are still occurring though fewer ultra formal ceremonies and catered receptions are seen. Those who opt for traditional weddings shop around. They forgo a wedding planner and may rely on the pastor for direction, especially if they are marrying outside of church property.
“We don’t charge for the use of the church,” said the Rev. Lynn Ronsberg of Zion Lutheran Church. “But we do charge for the extras like candelabra.” Couples are looking harder at spending money for these. They are even cutting down on the numbers of wedding attendants.
“And we are doing more weddings outside of the church,” Rev. Ronsberg added.
This may be because many of the couples don’t want to go through counseling or are not church affiliated, opinions that former Itasca County Court Administrator Diane Gross heard.
The economic crunch is also reducing the number of weddings performed. Rev. Ronsberg said she only has eight ceremonies scheduled for this summer and had only one during the winter months.
Yet, at the First Evangelical Lutheran Church, the Rev. Michael Eckert is not noticing a huge difference yet in the number of marriages on his schedule.
Less expensive and smaller weddings are prevalent for retired Itasca County Court Administrator Diane Gross. “Plus, more young people are not getting married because they are strapped for money,” she said.
The current Itasca County Court Administrator Linda Maki also feels the economy is affecting wedding ceremonies, causing fewer, quicker and less expensive weddings to be held at the courthouse.
The number of marriages is also down in Aitkin County, according to Bonnie LaCocq, the county’s court administrator. “We’re not nearly doing as many as we were three years ago,” she explained. LaCocq doesn’t charge for courthouse weddings.
Still, receptions remain an important part these ceremonies. Jessica Jarvi and Jeremy Jetland are having less expense nuptials but a big reception that will include family, friends and co-workers.
For many, cookouts and potlucks, even pizza parties, are replacing catered receptions.
Jarvi emphasized that the importance of the reception: “It’s about everybody, not just us. And this will add fun to our day.” It is obviously paramount to have all of those who are important in the couples’ lives there to celebrate with them.
In addition, couples are creative about putting together their own ceremony, especially their vows and the site of their marriage. Vows are becoming personalized to be less serious, romantic or funny. They may come from Christian, American Indian or Celtic traditions, songs or poetry, or the couples’ experiences with one another.
Some vows may be exchanged on a favorite beach or pontoon, at a cabin or in homes. Other couples use Gunn Park or the Coleraine Park’s gazebo. Interfaith minister Patty Erven married a twosome on the railroad tracks where the groom had proposed and at the Northome Fairgrounds grandstand with the calliope playing “Jingle Bells” and the critters calling from the barn.
Pastor Ronsberg has been on a frozen lake in February. When she asked the groom-to-be what the back up plan was if the temperature was significantly below zero or there was a blizzard, he said, in his southern drawl, that the wedding would just have to be shorter.
LaCocq joined a couple in subzero weather outside a fish house on Lake Mille Lacs. She’s also officiated at the Brainerd Speedway in the winners’ circle during motorcycle races and at a Corvette Club event.
“At least I haven’t been asked yet to bungee jump or sky dive,” added Rev. Eckert.
It seems that brides and grooms are getting more creative with celebrating the love their love. While the economy may nudge couples to re-think wedding plans, in the end, it may just be responsible for more memorable nuptials.
READER RESPONSES:
"One of my cousins asked each family to bring a favorite pie to the wedding reception. Instead of wedding cake, we had pies of all kinds. It was lovely!" -Katie Carter
The culture and the cost of marriages are changing.
Wedding bells sound softly now. Couples have less to jingle in their pockets and those marrying may do so without the expensive clothes, heaps of flowers and fancy receptions.
Economic times are guiding those special days. That best dress or simple suit is replacing traditional wedding attire. At the more casual summer weddings couples may wear shorts, t-shirts and be barefooted and, at a Gunn Park ceremony, don a clean do-rag.
The Rev. Gretchen Pickeral watched a bride in a cheap wedding dress inviting everyone to sign her dress as she moved barefoot through the onlookers.
Church nuptials are still occurring though fewer ultra formal ceremonies and catered receptions are seen. Those who opt for traditional weddings shop around. They forgo a wedding planner and may rely on the pastor for direction, especially if they are marrying outside of church property.
“We don’t charge for the use of the church,” said the Rev. Lynn Ronsberg of Zion Lutheran Church. “But we do charge for the extras like candelabra.” Couples are looking harder at spending money for these. They are even cutting down on the numbers of wedding attendants.
“And we are doing more weddings outside of the church,” Rev. Ronsberg added.
This may be because many of the couples don’t want to go through counseling or are not church affiliated, opinions that former Itasca County Court Administrator Diane Gross heard.
The economic crunch is also reducing the number of weddings performed. Rev. Ronsberg said she only has eight ceremonies scheduled for this summer and had only one during the winter months.
Yet, at the First Evangelical Lutheran Church, the Rev. Michael Eckert is not noticing a huge difference yet in the number of marriages on his schedule.
Less expensive and smaller weddings are prevalent for retired Itasca County Court Administrator Diane Gross. “Plus, more young people are not getting married because they are strapped for money,” she said.
The current Itasca County Court Administrator Linda Maki also feels the economy is affecting wedding ceremonies, causing fewer, quicker and less expensive weddings to be held at the courthouse.
The number of marriages is also down in Aitkin County, according to Bonnie LaCocq, the county’s court administrator. “We’re not nearly doing as many as we were three years ago,” she explained. LaCocq doesn’t charge for courthouse weddings.
Still, receptions remain an important part these ceremonies. Jessica Jarvi and Jeremy Jetland are having less expense nuptials but a big reception that will include family, friends and co-workers.
For many, cookouts and potlucks, even pizza parties, are replacing catered receptions.
Jarvi emphasized that the importance of the reception: “It’s about everybody, not just us. And this will add fun to our day.” It is obviously paramount to have all of those who are important in the couples’ lives there to celebrate with them.
In addition, couples are creative about putting together their own ceremony, especially their vows and the site of their marriage. Vows are becoming personalized to be less serious, romantic or funny. They may come from Christian, American Indian or Celtic traditions, songs or poetry, or the couples’ experiences with one another.
Some vows may be exchanged on a favorite beach or pontoon, at a cabin or in homes. Other couples use Gunn Park or the Coleraine Park’s gazebo. Interfaith minister Patty Erven married a twosome on the railroad tracks where the groom had proposed and at the Northome Fairgrounds grandstand with the calliope playing “Jingle Bells” and the critters calling from the barn.
Pastor Ronsberg has been on a frozen lake in February. When she asked the groom-to-be what the back up plan was if the temperature was significantly below zero or there was a blizzard, he said, in his southern drawl, that the wedding would just have to be shorter.
LaCocq joined a couple in subzero weather outside a fish house on Lake Mille Lacs. She’s also officiated at the Brainerd Speedway in the winners’ circle during motorcycle races and at a Corvette Club event.
“At least I haven’t been asked yet to bungee jump or sky dive,” added Rev. Eckert.
It seems that brides and grooms are getting more creative with celebrating the love their love. While the economy may nudge couples to re-think wedding plans, in the end, it may just be responsible for more memorable nuptials.
READER RESPONSES:
"One of my cousins asked each family to bring a favorite pie to the wedding reception. Instead of wedding cake, we had pies of all kinds. It was lovely!" -Katie Carter
posted by Katie Carter at
8:05 AM
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